Massless

The Art of Losing a Fight

(Alternatively titled, So You're Not Strictly Speaking, Um, The Winner.)

You've tried.

You've thrown your back into it.

You tasted victory if only for the briefest of moments and despite your failure the smell of success lingers like a coy ghost.

But it's over. You join the hallowed halls of the non-victors where history is yours to read, not write.

Congratulations on your failure! It's time to decide what kind of loser you will become!

1. Sagic

Gore grew a beard. Nixon wrote books on political theory.

2. Tragic

You will spit and keen, a thorn in the winner's side. An irrational hate will consume you.

3. Hemorrhagic

You can leak sadness and spirit. Diminishing in mass until even your shell suggests a frown. With no gravitas and less hope you eschew flight for the quiet decay of the bronze medalist. You are the spiritually Disappeared.

Conclusion?
I'd invent more...but I'm busy deciding. Hmm. Hey! This list itself reveals a path - look! its outline is that of a broken bomb's fuse, unrealized, ashen, and spent-

Whoa. Only a soupçon of melodrama there. Which means...

Screw that noise. If I lose, I'm going with Sagic! Hell, I can grow a beard in under two weeks.*

*Business days counted only.

posted at January 27, 2005, 6:37 AM