MonstermassI think Halloween is one of America's finest traditions. It's a tacky, camp pastiche Day of the Dead, an superego-is-barred romp that I'd enjoy in more frequent visits, semi-annually would be fine. To the powers that decide matters: I think we're missing a fine opportunity, a different and more seasonal take by not having one near the spring solstice.
In preperation for tonight I begin the day with head bowed in silent appreciation of costumes to come, certain of their place in house parties and street corners throughout. En salutation:
- I salute the two friends going as Katrina and Wilma.
- I salute all of the Alis G.
- I salute the millions who have, in haste, thrown a sheet over their head.
- I salute the many college revelers whose only nod to the event is a pair of horns to their occasionally-used graduation-era pinstripes and cocktail dresses.
- I salute, despite its poor taste, you the mobile breast exam. Though I'd prefer you were less drunk and didn't try to fit your boxy-ass head on the dance floor.
- I salute the bravery of all the Adams and Eves ...
- ... who are actually wear fig-leaf-couture.
- I salute the husband who came in drag.
- I salute the Evil Anakin who kissed him.
- I salute the mask-wearers, the store-boughts, the prop-holders, the makeup-onlys, the accurate-uniformers, the Britneys-pregnant, the undead in all flavors-
- -and the beauty of pretending you're pretending.